Let Go of the Dating Excuses

Anonymous asked:

Hey there! I’m a female, and I have a crush a cute boy next door (literally) who is part of the same college ministry as me. If things keep going, is it okay to let him know that I’m interested in him or is that too forward? I get excited when I’m around him and I would really like to get to know him better.

I answered:

So you like this guy and want to get to know him better, telling him you are interested is all but guaranteed to be a step to the next level (if that is ever going to happen), so what possible reason could you have for not doing that? No seriously, I am asking here. 

Just telling him you are interested is honest (I don’t know if you know, but lying is a sin), it is you playing an active role in your own romantic life, and it is you summoning up the courage and faith to do something that terrifies a lot of people. That all seems positive, so what reasoning could overrule all that, and do they actually make any sense when you actually look at them.

  1. What if they say they don’t feel the same way? I will just die.

No you won’t. Rejection is not fun, but there are zero recorded incidents of it leading to someone just combusting. If it doesn’t work out, you still took the step, so no you know you are capable of that going forward. It also allows you to focus your energy on finding someone who does want a relationship with you, instead of pining for someone who doesn’t.

  1. I prefer the fantasy of the crush to the reality of an actual human relationship.

I appreciate the honesty, and a lot of people feel this way. It is not an evil mindset, but it is a little immature. The real problem with this is that fantasy always offers an easier path than the messiness and risk of a human being, but it also offers none of the real rewards. 

  1. But, but, but…good Christian girls don’t acknowledge that they have feelings or desires!

B.S. (which as we know, stands for “Biblically Specious”). There is no Bible verse that says anything like this. What the Bible does say is “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” -2 Timothy 1:7.

4) You are just plain ol’ chicken.

Now we come to real thing underlying almost all of these excuses. If you want something awesome (and you should) you might just have to do something that scares you a bit. That is simple risk and reward. As we talked about in #1, the risk isn’t that much, and the reward could be great.

Fear, game playing, and denial of reality all are things that have no place in a godly relationship or in a walk with the Lord. Let them go and take the step that is before you today. 

Just because you are a woman doesn’t mean that you have to sit around and wait for some dude to get a clue. You have a brain and a voice, go do your thing and let that guy know what kind of brave, direct woman of God he has a chance to get to know better if he steps up.

 

-Matt from The Bridge

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