I am so disgusted. Nothing is going right. Ever since my husband left and I had to quit my job to care for our kids, my life has been horrible. I’m even losing my house now. How do I get over this intense anger and hatred for my ex and focus on God?
First and foremost, I am sorry this is happening to you. It doesn’t mean that God has forgotten you. He hasn’t. It doesn’t mean He doesn’t love you. He does. It doesn’t mean you aren’t important to Him. You are.
That is all true, and none of it changes the fact that what you are going through sucks. It makes perfect sense that you are discouraged. It makes perfect sense that you are angry, both at your ex and at God. That is okay.
Psalm 34:18 says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” You don’t have to clean yourself up and get back on track before you can go to God. In fact, Jesus invites people who are “weary and heavy laden” to come to Him, in that state. There you will find rest.
You don’t have to get over your anger, or any other negative feelings, before you go to God. Going to God is the way we work through those issues. It can be a long road, but God has strength and wisdom for you. The best way to accept that is to be as honest as you can.
Sometimes we get this idea that, when we are going through something bad or when we have a negative attitude, that God is far from us. That is not the way it is. God is never far from us. In Revelation 3:20 Jesus says “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock.” God is always in the same place. He is close to us. Our emotions sometimes convince us that that distance has increased, but it’s not true.
God holds you in his hand. You couldn’t increase your distance from Him if you wanted to. He is close to you in your hard times. You don’t have to clean yourself up or put on a happy face for God. Be honest about your anger, your brokenheartedness, everything. That laying your burden down at His feet is where healing starts.
-Matt from The Bridge