Moving on from Immature People

Anonymous asked:

Hello! Why is it that sometimes a girl is having a super good interaction with a guy (talking, phoning, texting, emailing), and all of a sudden he falls of the face of the planet and stops all communication? In that case, should a girl be pushy and ask him what’s up? And why is he doing that? Or should she just act cool and stop trying, too? This is my biggest pet peeve. Thanks for your insight. 🙂

I answered:

The basic reason someone would do that fade off is immaturity and/or cowardice. There could be many reasons they made the decision to cut off contact: they might have met someone else, or gotten massively busy. Any number of things could cause someone to fall off the face of the earth. 

What’s clear is that communication with you is not a priority to them. Instead of just saying that- like a person, they chose to take the coward’s way out and just cut off communication. That sucks, and you’re right to be a annoyed and a little confused.

It is hard to imagine that digging into the situation and asking why someone did this doing any good. Why they don’t want to continue communicating is not nearly important as they fact that they don’t. 

There is no answer they could give that would make you go “oh, that makes perfect sense and I no longer feel bad about this at all.” That thing does not exist. You thought something was going well, the other person apparently didn’t feel the same. That sucks. There is no magic bullet that would make it not suck.

We sometimes get this idea in our mind that more information is always a good thing. Like if we just get the right explanation, then we won’t feel bad anymore because things will make total sense. That’s not the way life works. Some things are just a bummer. We need to move on and take time to heal, but just getting more information is not going to lead to a magic answer that makes everything right.

If someone just cuts off all communication with you, then they are the one missing out. Not only that, you dodged the bullet of getting further along into a relationship with someone who can’t communicate like an adult. It may not feel like it at the moment, but it is a good thing because it frees you up to move on to someone who actually has something to offer.

-Matt from The Bridge

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