Romance Always Involves Risk

Anonymous asked:

I know not every guy is the same but generally speaking, how does a guy act when he likes a certain gal?

I answered:

In a sane world, the answer to that question would be: walk up to her and say “I like you. You are pretty and funny and smell nice and I would like to buy you ice cream and enjoy that prettiness and funniness on a date.”

Unfortunately, 10 years ago a 21 year old wrote a book that sold a ton of copies and started an entire subgenre of Christian book: “DATING IS SUPER SCARY!!!” Since those books make money, they keep writing them; and since it is in a Christian bookstore, people assume these authors must know what they are talking about despite the patent ridiculousness of the things they are saying. So that’s the world we are all forced to live in.

As you point out, it’s really tough to speak in generalities on this. A shy guy who likes you may act in the same manner as an outgoing guy who is just friendly but not interested in you. The thing to remember here, for both genders, is that nobody knows what they are doing. Everybody is trying the best they can, but also trying to minimize their own risk. You can hire a body language expert. You and your friends can sit around and analyze every text or conversation like it is the enigma code, but that’s not going to give you a 100% risk free indication.

Now, even though everybody is clueless in general, ladies are at much more shrewd. There are lots of tricks along the lines of “we are all going to the movies, oh the only seat available for this guy happens to be next to you. What a coincidence!” So you can try the little tricks to get near the guy you have a crush on and see if anything happens on its own. But what you will find is that somebody has to take a chance and put themselves out there. Just because you are a girl is no reason for you not to be the one to do it.

If you take the risk and ask someone out, you run the risk of being rejected. I have been rejected…multiple times. Everybody I know has been romantically rejected at some point in their life. Here is the thing: no one has ever died from it. It is a bummer, but it won’t kill you. And the upside is that you are just as likely (probably more likely) to get a nice date and maybe nice relationship out of it. Movies, picnics, making out, the whole thing could be just one moment of bravery away. 


-Matt from The Bridge

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