What does it mean to have a really close friend? What would that relationship entail? For some reason I’m scared that I don’t have really really close friends that I can share anything and everything with (like struggles and sins), even though I have friends that I just have fun with, and it makes me feel lonely and sad that I’m unable to share those things. Is it important to have these kinds of close friends in my life?
It sounds like you have a very good idea of what a close Christian friendship is about. You should be able to share your struggles and sins with people who won’t judge you or try to guilt you, but want to be there for you and help if they can. There should also be plenty of laughter and joy.
Romans 12:15 says “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” I think that is a good picture. You certainly don’t want to just be super serious all the time, but you also don’t want people you can be honest with because they might accuse you of bumming them out. If you’re sad or having a tough time, you should be able to talk that over with a friend.
I wonder if you are unable to share those kind of things with the friends you have now, or if you just never have. Those are very different things. Your friends have struggles of their own, and may very well have the desire to go deeper as well. This assumes they are believers. Not that all your friends have to be Christians, but that kind of deep friendship is something that you want with another person who gets where you are coming from.
If you don’t have someone like that in your life, then you can do something about that. Find a small group bible study, or go up to someone at church who has a walk you admire and ask them if they would be willing to get together and talk over a situation. You don’t have to go from zero to BFFs right away. There is nothing wrong with being that up front, that is cheating.
Friendships with other believers is very important. We are not meant to carry our burdens alone. The desire you have for that is a holy one, and it is one that other people have as well. God wants you to have people to walk along side, and you want that for yourself. So pray that up, and start looking for those openings to go deeper or start new friendships.
-Matt from The Bridge