The Danger of Seeing Things in Black and White

Anonymous asked:

I am girl from india and here dating is almost forbidden. I met a guy and he is Godly and I have grown in the Lord through him. I intend to marry him. We are dating but no one knows about it. Also as both of us are mature Christians we have set boundaries in our relation ship. Is it wrong that our relationship is a secret?

I answered:

Given the circumstances, I don’t think there is anything wrong with keeping it a secret.

People, and it seems like Christians more than others, tend to fall into the trap of seeing everything in black and white terms. It seems easy to take a hard line on something like “keeping secrets is wrong” and that might be true 95% of the time, but a mature person is capable of discerning that other set of circumstances.

If you were in the suburbs in America, then yes, keeping a dating relationship a secret would probably seem a little suspicious. But your reasoning seems totally valid. I admittedly don’t know much about Indian social mores, but it keeping things quiet is the right choice.

There are very few things in life that are totally black and white. Putting things in those terms is something people do to try to make things simpler, but the thing is: life isn’t simple. Life is full of surprises, and you have to be able to improvise. That doesn’t mean compromising, it means knowing the things that you should draw a hard line on and the things where the Lord is calling you into something that isn’t simplistic.

Jesus is with you in that. We are called to follow Him, not follow an outline or set of rules. That is precisely because things are complicated sometimes and you have a guide right beside you to lead you through it.


-Matt from The Bridge

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