How can you tell if something is God’s will/something He’s telling you? I’ve developed a strong friendship with a guy I’ve known for a long time, we’re both in leadership positions in our community, so we spend a lot of time together. When it comes to love, he’s very cautious, but I have feelings for him. I’ve been in denial, but recently I really feel like God’s telling me to wait it out, and that he’s the person I’m going to marry. He hasn’t made a move yet, but it feels mutual. Am I paranoid?
There are three places we look to get wisdom on decisions: Scripture, wise council and prayer.
Scripture doesn’t give any insight into your specific situation, but it does offer some guidelines for how to be in a good relationship and what to look for in a partner (1 Corinthians 13 for example). So if you feel like this guy meets those standards, then that get a go ahead.
Wise council is just talking it over with someone. If you have had feelings for a while, odds are you have talked about this with someone. Talking a situation over helps you figure out how you feel about it, and getting people you trust in on that discussion can help you see things from other angles.
Those two are fairly straightforward, so questions like this often come down to prayer. More specifically, hearing what God is saying in response to our prayers. This is a difficult thing. Hearing the still, small voice of God in the midst of the craziness of life is tough. It takes practice.
There are a couple of things you can do to help yourself out there. First is asking as specific a question as possible, and as basic as possible. You are looking to marriage, which isn’t a bad thing, but there are tons of little steps and decisions between a relationship starting and marriage. So what if the question you took to God was “do you want me to express interest in this guy?”. Then those indicators you are looking for get easier to see, because you have narrowed your scope.
You also need to make sure that you are asking a question you are willing to hear a “yes” on. If you are asking whether or not to ask this guy out, then you should be prepared to do so if that’s the answer you feel you are getting.
And remember, even if it turns out that this guy isn’t interested, it is in no way the end of the world. You will be in the game, there is not telling what you can learn from that. So pray for courage, and for peace, and if you feel both of those about it, that may well be your sign.
-Matt from The Bridge